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Married: but Living a single existence – Why?
Do you see women married to rich powerful men and envy them. Women who have only to speak and the sun and moon is brought to their attention. Do you envy those women and want to be them? Sometimes, I look at them and wonder what their lives are like. Typically in the public domain they appear to have it all beautiful children, the dotting husband and all the worldly pleasures that money can buy. However, if you gaze deeply into their eyes what you see is loneliness, hurt, pain, bitterness, yearning, longing, and fires of passion that have never abated .
The next question is who are these women and why do they stay in a loveless, partner less and lonely marriage? For some that is a very easy question to answer and for others it can be a very difficult one. Some have grasped with an understanding that rivals none the true meaning of their existence, while others grapple with their identities without the façade of marriage that covers up their shallow existence.
Fear - This option is probably the one that pervades this population. It can probably be found to mingle with the other reasons listed below. Fear of the unknown can paralyze a person to be stagnant and imprisoned in their own skin. There is also the fear of what the outside world means without the shadow and protection of their powerful, influential and wealthy husbands.
Comfort and Stability -Some women choose the more pragmatic solution to stay because of comfort and stability that the marriage provides. There is the respect from the outside world, the dignity of being referred to as a Mrs. These women are smart; they cut their losses and know that the relationship has diminished to just shared assets, name and children, typically in this scenario it is easy for a third party to come into the picture and affect the relationship.
Responsibility to Children -This is a very prevalent choice. Many make this choice to stay for the children. They endure several years of sorrow, anger, and bitterness to ensure that their children’s futures are secure. Who are they deceiving? These women end up polluting their children and transferring down the bitterness and anger with life to their children. In turn as adults the children cannot function properly in their relationships because they cannot get past the bitterness that their parents unconsciously instilled in them.
Love - It would really like to believe in Love. I would like to believe in the romantic notion that there are some hurting women out there who stay for love. It is probably the rarerest scenario. Albeit the most noble and unselfish. It is not about fear, comfort, the children’s future, but my Love for this individual that keeps me here. Sometime Love is not the most practical or reasonable reason, but it truly is the greatest.
Whatever their reasons for staying, there are lot, of unhappy women out there; most of them have the world at their disposal. If they are staying in their lonely marriages for Love, I pray that the power of Love redeems them
Please email Bibie with your questions on life, love, and relationships matters at askbibiea@gmail.com |
